Breakfast of Croftians

ahem-champions. On the other hand, make that croftians. Sometimes you just gotta eat some protein for breakfast. I know I oughtta keep breakfast light with fruit, nuts, yogurt, cearals, things like that...but I have no problems with fryin up an egg, extra gooey in the middle, slatherin' some buttah on some toast, and crispin up some texturized vegitable protein in the sausage patty form (aka, SNOSages) and topping it off with a hot hot cup of strong english breakfast tea replete with a spoonful of sugar and a dollop of milk.'

The only thing is, I frekkin wolfed it down in like 45 seconds. I didn't even realize I was doing it until I looked down with one bite left. I was like, damn, I'm not even swollowing sometimes betweeen bites, i think i need to slow it down a little, especially with all this heavy ass food.

Turns out the restaurant industry does this to you: causes you to swallow whole portions of food in a single ferocious glup. Under the pressure of an atmosphere of intense urgency to move quickly, I've learned how to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in under 3 seconds. (my preference for oh-so-thickly peanut buttered peanut butter and jelly sandwiches makes that all the more amazing). But I am not proud of this.

People look upon you in horror, when, less than 8 seconds after the "amen" you've devoured everything on your plate. It's embarrassing when you've eaten everything on you and your date's plate before he's had a chance to come back from the restroom.

I'm going to lay out by the pool now and even though my belly is full, i shall stick it out and it shall never look as big as my preggo friend! I shall sit in the shade to avoid the sun, but will dip dip dip in the pool!