Rain and grey here in Atlanta since I've returned. I'm GETTING SO dEpRESSED!

Everything is just feeding my soulful yearning for the far east. I've realized many terrible things today. I'm bloody addicted to coffee and I WASN'T before this trip: now i'm frekkin shaking cuz i been without for 3 days, and everyday I looked and looked everywhere for the coffee grinder cuz all I had was some Jamacan whole beans but then I'd get high and forget i was looking and spend the rest of the day with an aching and as yet unrecognizable need. Then this morning, I finallly realize that I need coffee, need it as badly as a baby; a tit, an alcaholic; his bottle, a nympho; her dildo.

Then, i realize that I've not left the house for any non-obligatory reason since i've returned. That world scares me. I feel much safer at home with my 5 TVs, my computer, my camera, my redtube and youporn, and the glorious glorious internet.

Every bloody day its fuckin wet and grey and I want warm sunshine so bad-never get tired of sunshine and warmth!

I try to be social: but all the people i know socialize primarily by night...and simply because my time clock refuses to reset by jet-speed modern time expectations... I just can't stay awake properly after 9 pm, and I'm up before dawn. And daylight makes a mockery because when I look out my window its nothing but dead plants, dead trees, and grey fucking gray!! Everything is grey!

Then I'm thinking, I need to get out. Seriously. I need to meet people that excite me, i need to fall in love. How am i ever going meet anyone if I'm going to waste this vacation tan to the resumed pasty whiteness of my computer screen glow saturated life. ON the internet?? NOO! I refuse! I have to get out there.

I turn off the tv, which I'm already needing too much, again, and resist (or maybe not) turning on redtube or youporn (god i'm horny and I can't get that austrailian out of my head: a favorite photo of us on my desktop makes me feel warm, nostolgic and sweet in theotherwise soulless glow of my screen), I pick out a old favorite skirt and look forward to the wholesome outdoorsy activity of buying a newspaper and clip-clopping down to the local coffee shop where artisty types might be hanging out. Mmmmm COOOFFEEE

I miss travelling so much, and i'm seriously missing Vietnamese coffee with sweetmilk. Oh myy god! Its so good to hear from you always. I'm keeping up with Trevor (whose in Japan), Reid and Luke, (spending NyE in Siam Reap (SOO FUKKIN JEALOUS!), and a few others whose news from home fall on greatful hungry thirsty ears.

So although your story was PAINFULLY tragic, it was also a joyus balm to my travel-starved (and caffine starved) heart.

I'm off to meet sexy artist/musicians and or underground rich business men types who travel a lot and let you do what you want.

Oh god! Gotta stop!
croftee!